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Wednesday, March 4, 2015

I Always Feel Like Somebody's Watching Me

Entry #14

May 14, 2014

   I am so thankful for all of the studying we did last night. Because of it, we were able to identify specific lung sounds and had a much easier time reading EKGs, which we spent most of our clinic hours working on. It is still extremely difficult to diagnose a patient from an EKG, but I am now able to make educated guesses about what a certain condition's EKG would show. We were able to answer many more questions today and also ask more detailed questions ourselves. We are helping one another through the material and with such difficult concepts, have a study partner is extremely beneficial. We were taught how to perform an EKG by observing Dr. Gandhi's staff. We then each performed two on our own.
   After clinics we went shopping again. I spent quite a bit of money again and I am sure I will need to use my debit card. I do not regret my purchases because I have accomplished 100% of my shopping list aside from tea boxes and a tailor for my saari. Mrs. Mehta says she will contact her tailor for me.
   I emailed Corbett today after failing to reach them via phone all week. Mayank came to visit us tonight. We decided that Greg and I will travel to Nainital Saturday morning and stay the night. Sunday morning we will drive to Corbett Park and do the elephant safari. We will need to book a private elephant through a government window somewhere on the way to Nainital. Mayank then arranged train beds to and from Amritsar. They are not set in stone, but I am not worried because these things usually have a way of working themselves out. Not to mention, my mother claims I am the luckiest kid alive. Based on my history, I believe her. Worrisome matters simply fall into place for me.
   I forgot to mention last night that I made Greg and I get lost on the way to Dr. Gandhi's clinic. As my mother would expect from my luck, I asked the correct stranger for help because he offered to drive us there on his motorcycle! We arrived just in time and I can now cross "ride a motorcycle" off my bucket list. I realize this may concern some readers, and Mayank was not thrilled, but it was honestly a short, kind, innocent lift on a motorcycle that didn't exceed 35 mph. What is the point of life if we don't take small chances and try new things? I feel a trip to India by oneself is far more risky than a 0.5 mile ride on a helpful stranger's motorcycle.
   On the walk to the market, we were asked to pose for a picture. Soon our one pose attracted another larger group who took pictures. I silently stood and smiled as strangers pointed cameras in my face and unabashedly snapped away. The strangers who have taken pictures while we have been here have been mainly focused on me and not Greg because a) I am a female, b) I have a darling, perfectly straight smile thanks to braces and mouthwash, and c) I have red hair. 
   I do not necessarily mind and can get over the feeling that I am a zoo attraction; however, I can barely tolerate the candid photos. There have been multiple and probably many more that I have not noticed. First off, I look absolutely dreadful in all candid shots, I promise. Secondly, I would never ever deny posing for a picture if someone asks nicely. What bothered me the most was that a patient's family snuck photos of me in a very obvious manner while I was trying to work and focus on the patient's lungs. I would have posed for a picture if asked to, but I felt that candid photos made me appear unprofessional and caused me to lose focus while working. At least I was still able to hear fine crackles!
   I am very upset to have only two more days left to work with Doctors Joshi and Gandhi. I am learning so much and admire both men a great deal. I wish I would be able to sit and pick their brains forever; a week is simply not enough! There is a pretty slim chance I can work with the neurologist, but I still hold some hope.

P.S. Greg flinched more than I've seen anyone flinch in my entire life–it was more of a jump–because of a very intimidating (wait for it) butterfly! I was at least two feet from his face! Cracked me up.

I'm Gonna Pop Some Tags, Only Got $20 In My Pocket

Entry #13

May 13, 2014

   Technically it is 1:30am on the 14th. I know I should sleep plenty before I wake up at 7:40, but I need to write! First I would like to mention how grateful and amazed I am for global connectivity through the internet. I am fortunate to have been able to keep in consistent contact with family and friends. Also a quick shout-out to Greg for bringing, not just one, but two devices that connect to wifi. Let's give it up for Greg, everyone!
   I woke up this morning determined to hate on Greg and send him death glares and cold shoulders throughout clinic. He eventually wore me down by asking nonstop why I was angry and I calmly reamed him out. He apologized. I soon realized how pointless and misdirected most of my frustrations were so I apologized also. We moved on and went back to being a dynamic duo. We had a fun day exploring and hanging out. Remember, kids, communication is key! I don't know exactly why I was so angry this morning, but now that I think about it, I was probably PMSing. I'll have to tell Greg that tomorrow. I'm sure my hormonal cycles are his top concern.
   I enjoyed having Greg with me today because I had someone to talk with, someone to confide in when I could hear absolutely nothing through the stethoscope and I felt more confident about asking questions or for clarification. We read many EKGs, none of which we understood. We spent hours tonight looking up and jotting down notes of how to interpret the darn things. Hopefully we understand more tomorrow.
   The first thing we did in Dr. Joshi's clinic today was examine a 2-month old's heart with an echocardiogram (an ultrasound on the heart). I was amazed by the clarity of the image and how well I was able to recognize the heart's anatomy. The baby had ASD (atrial septum defect) and VSD (ventricular septum defect). Essentially, neither septum are intact. Dr. Joshi prescribed corrective surgery. I asked Dr. Gandhi if we could learn how to work the EKG machine and he said he would teach us the minute we walked in tomorrow.
   After clinics, we went shopping. It rained this morning, which is very early in the year for this part of India. By the end of clinics, the rain had stopped and the sun had made its appearance. It was about 73 degrees Fahrenheit outside, perfect shopping weather. I dragged poor Greg along through the shops for about four hours. Luckily he is the most patient and supportive male shopping partner I have ever known. I assume I can thank his girlfriend Delaney for that! I, once again, spent a lot more money than I planned or desired to. I have since realized that I will probably never see India again and should take as much of it back with me as baggage restrictions will allow. Furthermore I do not regret purchasing the most beautiful saari and the only one that made my jaw drop. It was saari-love at first sight! I only wish that I had known it did not come with the necessary blouse (crop top), shoes (slippers) and that I would need to have it tailored. Cha-ching! I will handle the rest of that tomorrow. During the walk through the market, we were harassed by beggar children. They hung on to our clothes and arms for minutes on end, begging and pestering us. There were so many children that we could not risk giving change to one for fear that the rest would swarm us. They would not leave us alone, and I am not ashamed to say that I have never wanted to push a child down or throw one into a bush more than at that moment. Any sane adult who was subjected to the same tiny hands clinging and tiny voices perpetually begging for money would feel the same way. Tonight, I was a victim of child harassment.
   We returned home and bonded with Mrs. Mehta over our recent purchases. A great way to bond with anyone, I've learned. I am very glad we are forming a better relationship with our homestay mother. She is very understanding and flexible about making our meals.
   Until now, I have neglected to discuss women's styles in India. This is one of the first contrasts I notice when traveling outside of the U.S. I love the style here. Most women cover up their legs and upper arms, but this is not required or strictly followed. Saaris are also an interesting piece because they expose the midriff. Unfortunately almost every saari-adorned woman I've seen had very excessive fat or loose, flabby skin in the exposed region. I commend these women for displaying their bodies so freely, without fear of judgment. Almost all women also have nose rings and multiple ear piercings. Even many of the junior school students in Patti had pierced noses. The way scarves are worn in India is simply around the chest, with both ends of the scarf hanging off the shoulders, down the back. This style requires frequent adjustment of the scarf. There are so many variations on style based upon the individual woman's beliefs. These include but are not limited to: tikkas between the eyes; red paint along the hair's part; henna drawn on the hands; and covering of the entire head with a scarf. I find the Indian styles very different from typical American styles, especially considering the high temperatures here.

I Said "Doctor!" To Relieve This Belly Ache

Entry #12

May 12, 2014

   In the middle of the night Sunday, Greg and I both woke up, sick with diarrhea and terrible nausea. I am sure it is from the fraud German Bakery we ate at on Saturday. Because I am a delicate little flower who withers away at the food here, I barely touched my meal at the restaurant. On the opposite end of the spectrum, Greg is a food tyrant who stuffs his face with everything he can reach; he ate both our meals. Poor Greg! Due to this MO of ours, I felt mostly better by the morning, whereas Greg was still resting at death's door by 8pm on Monday. I attended clinics today alone.
   Mayank drove me to the cardiologist and showed me the path I would take with the vickram. I am scared for this as I am not sure where to board one and I don't have any small change with me. I suppose I will figure things out. I still did not feel well and could only eat an orange that morning. At the beginning of clinic with the cardiologist, I was close to fainting for a minute or two. I chugged some water and then felt I was no longer near passing out. It would be a lie to say this does not happen often to me. I truly do not drink enough water.
   I followed the doctor to a small room already filled to the brim with patients. They began to step up one by one and get checked out by Dr. Joshi. He saw each patient for only a few minutes, taking their blood pressures and checking their heart/lungs with a stethoscope. Every few patients, he would lean back and tell me a diagnosis or explain a physiological concept. He answers my questions well and I can mostly understand through his accent. He shows me EKGs and brain scans, which are very interesting and almost impossible to decipher. We saw at least 50 patients together and he sees, on average, 150 patients a day.
   The second clinic is emergency medicine with Dr. Sanjay Gandhi. If I can survive the terrifying, dangerous walk there every day, I think I will enjoy it very much. Dr. Gandhi is a very professional man who oozes intelligence and confidence with just one glance. He is very kind and modest, making it easy to talk to him once conversation is initiated. I was extremely intimidated at first because I sat quietly on his couch as he saw many, many patients without speaking a word to me. After about an hour, we got up to do rounds in the building that he owns. We entered about 15 rooms, some with multiple patients. Despite being followed closely by six employees hanging on his every word, Dr. Gandhi explained everything in English and asked me to check chests, MRIs and EKGs. I felt prioritized, which was very comforting since I was all alone for the first time in a medical clinic here. It was very nerve-racking to draw conclusions and listen to heart murmurs in front of so many strangers. Basically I am entering uncharted territories under the watchful eyes of a foreign audience. Most importantly, I crave to impress such an accomplished, intelligent man as Dr. Gandhi. I feel that I performed adequately for my first day. I got some diagnoses right, some conclusions wrong, but mostly I am being exposed to material and patients that all hold clinical relevance for my future career.
   Unfortunately Dr. Gandhi speaks very softly so it is difficult to hear despite his perfect English. I hope to impress the man even a small amount and get to know him better so I can possibly ask his for a reference for grad schools. I enjoy doing both 3-hour clinics back-to-back but I will bring two water bottles tomorrow. I brought up to Mayank that I felt unprepared for some of the questions they asked me, but he eased my mind by explaining that doctors don't want to give me an inferiority complex and that they understand I am premed. I am happy with how much I am learning.

It's Been A Long Day, Always. Ain't That Right?

Entry #11

May 12, 2014

   I have not been able to journal in more than a day because so much has happened. I will try to start at the beginning.
   After taking a nap–well Greg napped; I journaled–after returning to the hotel Saturday morning, we left to go shopping. Our hotel was near Ram Juhla and the best shopping was situated just before Luxmen Juhla. Both are bridges that swing across the Ganges river. The walk to the shops took forty minutes and was about two miles in my best guess. The temperature was unbearably hot. We shopped for hours and bought a decent amount of souvenirs. I still have a lot more shopping to do, though.
   We ate in a sketchy Chinese restaurant because we believed it to be the German bakery we were advised to eat at. In our defense, the dumb restaurant SAID German Bakery on it! Freaking restaurant. We walked back after this and during the walk, I became possessed by a demon. Another day in the life of me. I felt so hot and sweaty, my feet were killing because of poor quality shoes, I had to excrete the ten bites of sucky lunch I had very badly, my thighs were chafing and burning and I knew we had at least a two mile walk ahead of us. I spent the walk either complaining when Greg would ask how I was or fixated in a death-glare silence for fear I would drown Greg in the river–merely because he was the only person I was able to take my rage out on.
   We finally returned to the hotel and after a quick, cold shower, I apologized profusely to Greg. He comforted me and said there was no need for an apology. We are all human; thus we are all allowed to feel uncomfortable and then complain about feeling uncomfortable. How can we enjoy the better moments if we do not suffer through the truly hellish ones first? We rested until it was time to meet Rajesh at Little Buddha.
   This walk was not as painful as the temperature had cooled down a little. Upon entering Little Buddha, both of our eyes bulged. The atmosphere of the restaurant was laidback and down-to-Earth. It was like hippies' galore. There was Indie-like music playing, extremely dim lighting emitted from bulbs sitting in what looked like sun hats. There was even an outdoor balcony area. One side of the restaurant had raised U-shaped platforms with cushions and pillows. The tables were so close to these cushioned platforms that customers who sat there could not put their legs down. The rest of the restaurant had normal tables and chairs. The entire place reminded me of hookah lounges back at home but with a much more positive vibe. Maybe this is because the facility served food, not flavored tobacco. Food is a much more enjoyable product. We had a great time laughing and talking with Rajesh. He left and we shopped a little more before walking home.
   The next morning we woke up, ate breakfast and checked out of the hotel. We crossed the Ram Juhla and found an auto to take us to the bus stop. We boarded the bus to Dehra Dun, but unfortunately it was full. One man found a seat up front so I took his empty one. Greg sat on the floor of the bus in the back and was able to stretch his legs out. The ride was about an hour and a half. There was so much traffic and our driver had a condition which forced him to lie on his high-pitched, deafening horn for five seconds at least once a minute. Turns out our auto driver from the bus stop in Dehra Dun presented with the same condition. If you can call being irritable as desiring to rip someone's head off, then Greg and I were a million steps past being irritable. We cheered up once we got to the homestay and showered.
   We ate lunch and rested until a cab came to pick us up. Mayank had arranged a nice tour of Dehra Dun for us since Sunday afternoon was our only chance to explore the city. We visited four temples. There was so much to take in that the details are now fuzzy, but I will attempt to recollect everything.
   The first temple had a giant golden statue of Buddha about 125 feet high. The base holding the statue was colorfully decorated and very beautiful. Inside the base was a room with completely painted walls and ceiling. Gorgeous chandeliers hung down and the support poles were draped in red fabric. At the back of the room was a shrine with a picture of who I assume was Gandhi. The shrine held many animal figurines, candles, flowers and six dishes of water. There were dishes to collect money also. There were intricately embroidered seats on either side of the shrine reserved for certain Gandhis I think. The seats could not be touched. I noticed in this temple and the second temple, both being Buddha temples, that every item and painting is detailed so precisely. Nothing is simple; everything is ornate and decorated. There are animals found everywhere, most often lion-like dragons, horses, lamb and others. Gold is the primary color although everything is very colorful. The final theme I noticed in the Buddha temples is that bigger is better.
   The second (my favorite) temple sat right down the street. We entered the large area and noticed many green fields and a crowd of citizens hanging out and playing on these fields. It was like a park. Next to the entrance was a small, empty, painted blue pool with a statue of a beautiful blonde woman serenading a swan who seems to be entranced and captivated by her musical instrument. The main attraction was a towering building with four total levels. At the top of the tower is a statue of the new Buddha who stands over the previous Buddha, descending a set of stairs. The statues were magnificent and looming.
   We entered the tower and were taken aback by the glory of it all. The giant walls were painted green and every inch was painted with a detailed scene and picture. All four walls made up a world of civilians, animals, creatures and imaginary images, none separated from another. I examined the continuous painting closer and saw every facet of the world that one could imagine. There were rooms with a missing wall so that you could look in and see families eating, women giving birth, even couples having sex! There were men hunting animals, dogs chasing men, the oh-so natural demon creature sawing off a man's leg near a fire. There were dragons and people riding clouds. I took the walls to portray all of life and every possible component of it, including what we imagine, fear and hope for. There was a sense of awe and inexplicable understanding when I viewed the walls. The rest of the first floor contained shrines and seats for holy figures. The top of the first floor was surrounded in three layered ledges that were filled by Buddha statues that sat and watched over us. The bottom-most row of statues was different from the other two rows'. All the statues were gold.
  The second floor's walls were a continuation of the statues as they covered the entire floor's surroundings. In the center of the second floor was a display case of a decorated room. There were figurines of men riding different animals that surrounded the display. The main display was so cluttered with decorations and figurines that I couldn't possibly decipher it or describe it in any amount of words. It was a beautiful work of art. 
   The third floor contained a tall display with many surrounding colorfully decorated figurines, similar to those on the second floor. The front side of the display had seven or eight vertically-arranged Buddhas. On either side of these were Buddhas sitting on clouds. They blended in with the green background, but I counted 28 cloud Buddhas in total. The back of this tall work of art was a beautiful depiction of a variety of flowers climbing and weaving their way through a white trellis. It was intricate and magnificent. Stepping out on the third floor's balcony, one was able to look directly up at the new Buddha or stand directly behind the old Buddha descending the stairs. From that angle, it was clear to see the stairs were painted white on the Buddha's left, blue where he was to walk and gold on his right side. Curious.
   The entire spectacle was breathtaking and what made the adventure more interesting was that Greg and I seemed to be spectacles ourselves! We were stared at by everyone and heard many families giggling about us as we passed. I was even approached by a man who asked if I would take a picture with his mother. I should have told him I would only take a picture with his mom if he would take one with me. He was hot! For lack of a better word, of course.
   The third and fourth temples were a stark contrast to the first two. They were very clearly Hindu. They were much more simple and less extravagant than the Buddhist temples. The Hindu temples were more about being places of prayer and worship than the Buddha temples, which were known for their shrines and sheer opulence. The animals more often found in Hindu temples are elephants, tigers and a few others. The most prominent color is red, not gold. There are bells that people can ring hanging from the ceiling. I would love to uncover the significance of ringing these bells.
   The first Hindu temple was partially located in a cave where we were sometimes forced to duck down and hunch over while walking. There was a fire lit and a gathering of people participating in prayer in a back room. In the deepest room of the dim cave, there was a single occupant–a man painting what I assume was one of the numerous shrines in the room.
   The fourth temple had many glass display cases, often containing statues or paintings of Durga. One case with a gorgeous gold tapestry of Durga also held a painting of the same woman serenading the swan I saw at the second temple. I wonder who she is and the story between her and the swan. Upstairs was a room with glass walls that contained a large group of people praying on their knees. They were not all in unison as it seemed to be individual prayer. There was a man behind a decorated desk, leading the prayer or something of the sort. It is possible he was a baubau, although I do not think so. 
   We then went out to dinner to ANOTHER Chinese restaurant. For being part of Asia, India is really bad at imitating Chinese food! I did not like my pineapple chicken meal so I boxed it up and gave it to the cab driver whom had spent five hours of his day with us. Luckily I was able to enjoy a delicious chocolate donut from the display case at the restaurant. There was a band who was pretty good, but they only played three songs within the 45 minutes we were there. We rode home, passing a very small parade on the way. I was so tired that I passed out immediately after returning to the homestay.